Now, as you may have seen, Tinder has just released its “festival mode” on its popular hookup app, making it easier to find someone to keep you warm over those cold festival nights. This prompted me to ask: Have any of these people ever hooked up at a festival?
Suffice it to say, it’s not the most pleasant experience, on a good day. There’s a certain… art too it. That’s why I decided to put together a small guide, not at all based on personal experience, and let you in on the fun secrets of doing the nasty festival style.
Pack wipes. For every other reason under the sun, but especially because no one wants to get near ya after 4+ days at a camping festival. Give yourself a quick once over before you go meet up with your friend of the evening.
Bring protection. 9 times out of 10, you’re not gonna know this person you’re about to see. You don’t know where they’ve been, or who they’ve been with; not to mention it’s just good sense! Bring a couple extras with you, male, or female. You never know.
Be respectful. Don’t be pushy. These encounters are supposed to be fun, so take no for an answer. NO MATTER AT WHAT POINT DURING THE ENCOUNTER. If a person decides midway through getting their onesie off that this isn’t right, let it go. If you make plans to meet again, don’t be rude or pushy again. Just remember to be respectful, and talk about consent!
Brag about your conquests. Unless you’re into that sorta thing, but that’s to be discussed. Don’t be the person bragging that they nailed a festival human, and point them out all over the place. Just keep the experience for you, unless otherwise discussed!
Be a jerk. If someone doesn’t want to get down, just move on. They clearly made their intentions clear which means it’s time to put that idea to bed my friend. Like I said above, don’t be pushy.
Use substances to manipulate a situation. Listen, we all know what happens at festivals. A lot of the time, you may be under the influence when you hook up. Alcohol, and or drugs, are never a form of consent, and coercing someone under the influence is rape, full stop. If you ever feel like something isn’t right, look for harm reduction and seek help. It’s never okay.
Just because someone is wearing a revealing costume, that is not an invitation to touch them without their explicit permission, whether it’s a performer or festival goer. LOOK WITH YOUR EYES.
Hooking up at a festival is awesome but it’s not the main focus, so don’t be weirded out if your friends are all off getting laid and you’re more into the music and vibes. That’s normal and super awesome anyways.
HAVE. FUN. WITH. YASELF. You only get one festival. Enjoy it however you want.
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